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kitideboo's Journal
Created on 2007-07-20 20:14:28 (#13422763), last updated 2008-12-16
212 comments received, 1,976 comments posted
Plus Account [Gift]
343 Journal Entries, 6 Tags, 0 Memories, 200+ ScrapBook Files, 0 Virtual Gifts, 13 Userpics
Basic Info| Name: | kitideboo |
|---|---|
| Location: | United Kingdom |
BioI am like two people. One is sad, dark and despairing, whilst the other is happy, light, and full of joy.
The Sad Truth is that I hate myself. I'm stuck inside this fat body, it is my prison and has been since I can remember and my life is a never ending battle to be skinny. I never feel good enough for anyone or anything. I am trapped in this cycle of despair.
The Me that people see is different to how I feel inside. My outer veneer is my protection, I project something that isn't real. I try and hide the turmoil in my mind. I am sad, and decaying inside this body. The veneer that people see is fake and will crack under strain or pressure.It is fragile even if I am not. The slightest criticism or negative comment stays with me to plague my already unhappy mind. This is my world.
In the lighter side of my life, where I am a mom, and a wife to be, I am polished, finished and presented like a doll. I am never without a french manicure and pedicure,(unless the dark side of my life has taken over, which does happen from time to time, much to my despair), and to me, makeup is God sent,(people would think I had died if I went out without it), sad but true I'm afraid, infact sometimes I scare myself. Shopping, arhhh shopping, is amazing when you are thin, BUT when you are fat its a living hell. I love music. Music is like the air we breathe, you need it to live, to feel and express youself, it can alter your mood in a flash, and the true wonder of music can never be undermined. I love "The Hills" and I think it is the life every girl should experience, just once, to know what its like to have it all. Blonde highlights are the best thing ever invented, (at least for me) and St Tropez tans, well thank the Lord above that someone clever and forward thinking actually thought of all us poor pale skinned girls and boys who don't have the time, patience or live in the right climate to sun bathe (temporary escape from looking like a fat beached white whale) New york is the best city in the world, so big and so breathtaking it can make even me feel small and fragile and Jimmy Choos are something every girl should own (not that I wear any of mine they just sit in their boxes and stay perfect, serving to remind me of a life I once lived) Lastly, gyms really should open 24 hours a day (because then I would live there and exercise till I dropped all the fat that clings to my body )Above all I should be THIN!(but thats never going to happen). So here ends my story.
The Sad Truth is that I hate myself. I'm stuck inside this fat body, it is my prison and has been since I can remember and my life is a never ending battle to be skinny. I never feel good enough for anyone or anything. I am trapped in this cycle of despair.
The Me that people see is different to how I feel inside. My outer veneer is my protection, I project something that isn't real. I try and hide the turmoil in my mind. I am sad, and decaying inside this body. The veneer that people see is fake and will crack under strain or pressure.It is fragile even if I am not. The slightest criticism or negative comment stays with me to plague my already unhappy mind. This is my world.
In the lighter side of my life, where I am a mom, and a wife to be, I am polished, finished and presented like a doll. I am never without a french manicure and pedicure,(unless the dark side of my life has taken over, which does happen from time to time, much to my despair), and to me, makeup is God sent,(people would think I had died if I went out without it), sad but true I'm afraid, infact sometimes I scare myself. Shopping, arhhh shopping, is amazing when you are thin, BUT when you are fat its a living hell. I love music. Music is like the air we breathe, you need it to live, to feel and express youself, it can alter your mood in a flash, and the true wonder of music can never be undermined. I love "The Hills" and I think it is the life every girl should experience, just once, to know what its like to have it all. Blonde highlights are the best thing ever invented, (at least for me) and St Tropez tans, well thank the Lord above that someone clever and forward thinking actually thought of all us poor pale skinned girls and boys who don't have the time, patience or live in the right climate to sun bathe (temporary escape from looking like a fat beached white whale) New york is the best city in the world, so big and so breathtaking it can make even me feel small and fragile and Jimmy Choos are something every girl should own (not that I wear any of mine they just sit in their boxes and stay perfect, serving to remind me of a life I once lived) Lastly, gyms really should open 24 hours a day (because then I would live there and exercise till I dropped all the fat that clings to my body )Above all I should be THIN!(but thats never going to happen). So here ends my story.
ConnectInterests (48):
adam sandler, american vogue, americas next top model, ballet pumps, ben stiler, chanel, cyprus, drew barrymore, dry heat, fashion design, french sole, greek mythology, gucci, h&m, hot weather, illustration, interior design, jimmy choo, la, live music, long hair, louis vuitton, make up, maroon 5, miami, new york, nice, nicole richie, painting, paris, perfection, personal shopping, rachel zoe, reading, rococco furniture, running, skin care, skinny limbs, styling, sunshine, talking to friends, the colour green, the colour white, the hills, vanilla candles, vintage clothing, white flowers, working out
External Services:
 | kitideboo@livejournal.com |
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0x_dollface_x0, 110_x, _____phenomenon, a_lb_a_day, achievable, addicted_ana, adktd2lnknprk, aeiefaerie1618, alices_fall, allieunsociable, alwayswant2be, alyceana, amaliaeddene, amazingbones, amber_skie, amelie20, amy777, an_empty_bus, ana_addict95, ana_paperkitty, anabellastacia, angel_kate11, angelis_grace, anorexicdiva, ashleysbones, aynz_91, banshii, beatheartbabyxo, begging4freedom, blank_versexx, brandycobb, britelyfetherd, brooke222, browneyes_1701, bulimic26, bumbalina, calories_kill, camille38, candie1126, cassia112, catriona_xox, cavalierspaniel, caz222, chanel_smilez, charlotte_snape, chelsedie, cherryknotting, chix0r_engel, chronicanorexic, chunkfairy_x, clairebear_89, clairee_xo, cool_cat010, coriney, danela1987, day_lily, deadonfive, despairingaura, dizzywhite, dreamy08, dusty_pearls, edie_a, effie_small, electricmishap, elijahblu, ellamorte, ellefino, elven_wood, em1303, emily_xx123, emloveskev, empty100, fadingfox, fashionista2121, fat_hippo, fat_kat612, fatgirlthingirl, fatnessa, fc_l, feisty_fantasy, fiery_furnace, fio_117, floatlikeair, focusontheprize, forevathin, freidadave, fuckyouhostess, fuffy_kitten, funkytastin, g_o_l_d, gemeyes, gemxpink, getting_claired, ginamariee, girl_fading, glamourqueen15, goodintentions4, gracefulkate, greedy2bthin, gurliewonder, helloiloveu2, helpmebeme, hide_it, honeyoil, horrorbunni, hostile_eye, howtofeel, i_am_amistake, i_want_freedom, idontfeelhungry, ikilledjenny, illremembersun, imperfect1183, insomni_ana, inspired_now, isabet, itsintobethin, jadexxbabe, jadore_cafe, jammyorange, janbi, jim3420, joeybitch, joeykat, juicylover456, julesinneed, julie_thinkthin, juliemulie23, just1miracle, justshutmydoor, jwood123, kandee30, karensaid, kate_uk18, kdskinny, kiara_kiki, killing_ivori, kitideboo, kitkat_fat, kyrieana, l0v3child, la_vie_en_rose0, lady_utopia, ladyjezzabelle, laura1990day, lc_nothing, leandream, lettertwelve, light_nymph, lila______, lilith_faerie, lilla1, lilybear13, lisebelle, littlegirl100, littlenicci, littlesar, llcj0, lonelyhurtsclub, lost_the_fight3, lostdivine, lythiumgirl, m_gia, madamerex, madness_xo, malice12, marlbromatrix, maryybear, me_wonderland, meal_thatufear, megan_marie_11, meganamous, meganmia, megraann, misfitnviolent, missi_g, missygirl04, mmlycoris, morag_mairhread, mossbones, mytinywrist, nat_bug, never_whole, nicolerichiexxx, nomoredreamin, nonacylon, notlistening_xx, nutalieeee, ohsoawful, onelastgo, only_one_dream, onlywaterforme, ostinatarosa, overweightme, pangsofbeaut, paperkites28, perfection2007, perfection75, pinklove99, pokemonika, pure_as_sky, qtypa2ty, rachie_x16x, rea4, reagenashby, rebeccauk, rhcp_fanatic88, rockandbella, rui26, sad_girl22, sadfly, safetydp, samenthend, sarasilverman, sasshley, scar_my_bones, scarlet_berry, seansynthetik, seasick_sunday, secret_need, secretest_one, seriouslysally, sheisisabelle, shestheone22, skinniobsession, skinny_kids, skinny_vintage, skinnybeth, skinnyit, skinnyloveox, skinnymini786, skinnyminimee, skinnymommy, skinnyninja, skinnysharon, skye_storm, slashyelizabeth, smearedeyes, soleillove, somniofiducia, soon2bethin, staceysoccer, staged_panic, starsandbass, starswillshinex, starve_me_sknny, starving2dance, starvingworksx, stickthinpin, stitchbear, storm_shadow_88, sup_kidsss, supaflytothemax, tamzyy, th1nking, the_modern_age2, thecityisdead17, theworldstinks, thin2control, thin_as_edie, thinanimous, thinmama, thinside_out, thinspirer, thinxwish, thinythin87, thisismyed, thisisnotme86, tilley6, tink2469, too_imperfect, truthiswritten, try_shan, tyler240, vegangirlie, wackygiz, wannabe1232, wanttobeamodel, watch_me_spin_x, wednesdayrain_x, whiteflower23, whitetiger2202w, whoisme33, wish_2_b_thin, xgiddy_indiex, xk_la, xo_airbourne, xo_withlove, xohalleyox, xoxbloom, xpurefectionx, xxhere2stayxx, xxskinnyxx, xxwannabexx, yahsure, yespleasebones, zuzy12
Mutual Friends (202):
0x_dollface_x0, 110_x, _____phenomenon, achievable, addicted_ana, alices_fall, allieunsociable, alyceana, amaliaeddene, amy777, ana_addict95, anabellastacia, anorexicdiva, banshii, beatheartbabyxo, begging4freedom, blank_versexx, britelyfetherd, brooke222, browneyes_1701, bulimic26, bumbalina, camille38, cassia112, catriona_xox, cavalierspaniel, caz222, chanel_smilez, chelsedie, cherryknotting, chunkfairy_x, cool_cat010, coriney, danela1987, deadonfive, despairingaura, dusty_pearls, effie_small, electricmishap, elijahblu, ellefino, elven_wood, em1303, emily_xx123, emloveskev, fadingfox, fashionista2121, fat_kat612, fatnessa, fc_l, feisty_fantasy, fio_117, floatlikeair, focusontheprize, freidadave, fuffy_kitten, funkytastin, g_o_l_d, gemeyes, getting_claired, girl_fading, glamourqueen15, goodintentions4, greedy2bthin, gurliewonder, helloiloveu2, helpmebeme, hide_it, howtofeel, i_want_freedom, idontfeelhungry, ikilledjenny, illremembersun, imperfect1183, insomni_ana, isabet, itsintobethin, jadexxbabe, jadore_cafe, janbi, jim3420, juicylover456, julesinneed, juliemulie23, just1miracle, justshutmydoor, jwood123, kandee30, karensaid, kate_uk18, killing_ivori, kitideboo, kitkat_fat, lady_utopia, laura1990day, lc_nothing, lettertwelve, light_nymph, lila______, lilla1, littlesar, llcj0, lost_the_fight3, lostdivine, lythiumgirl, malice12, marlbromatrix, maryybear, me_wonderland, meal_thatufear, megan_marie_11, meganamous, meganmia, megraann, misfitnviolent, missygirl04, mmlycoris, mossbones, mytinywrist, nat_bug, never_whole, nicolerichiexxx, nomoredreamin, nonacylon, nutalieeee, onlywaterforme, overweightme, paperkites28, perfection75, pinklove99, qtypa2ty, rachie_x16x, rea4, reagenashby, rebeccauk, rhcp_fanatic88, rockandbella, safetydp, samenthend, scar_my_bones, scarlet_berry, seasick_sunday, secret_need, sheisisabelle, shestheone22, skinniobsession, skinny_kids, skinny_vintage, skinnybeth, skinnyit, ...
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